Words to Avoid ...

I was in a meeting last week, in which a very intelligent woman used a word which means, "grudging and petty in giving or spending." While this word is proper and found in dictionaries -- and is in no way relating to race -- the trouble is, this word sounds very much like "the 'N' Word."

My take was that she was unwise to use this word, even though it was technically grammatically correct. Why couldn't she just say "stingy," instead? In using the term, she may have impressed some with her vocabulary, but she distressed me with her judgment.

Recently, Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney found himself in a similar situation. According to the Boston Globe, he was quoted as saying:

"The best thing for me to do politically is stay away from the Big Dig -- just get as far away from that tar baby as I possibly can," he said in answer to a question from the audience.

The best thing he could do politically is stay away from using that term ...

In fairness, though, according to the Globe:

The expression "tar baby" has had different meanings over the years.

A definition from Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary traces the expression to the tar baby that trapped Br'er Rabbit in an Uncle Remus story by Joel Chandler Harris, which became popular in the 19th century. The dictionary now defines the expression as "something from which it is nearly impossible to extricate oneself."

(Hey, didn't Tony Snow use this same term in his first press conference???)

Here's my take on the controversy:

It is unwise for a leader or a communicator to use terms which will offend his or her audience.

This doesn't mean that we should go overboard with the politically correct stuff (I will not use the term: "Personkind," for example).

I truly believe Gov. Romney didn't know the term was sometimes used in a derisive manner. In short, I believe it was an honest gaffe.

But the fact that he didn't know that implies he may be out-of-touch. Communicators and leaders should do their best to be sensitive to how language effects people.

In a sense, that what "Teaching Elephants to Talk" is all about.